Feedback

Asking for feedback Blows. It’s like stepping into the line of fire and asking someone to take a shot at you. You’re exposed and vulnerable, but I can’t emphasize enough how much value there is when feedback comes with candor and is built into regular feedback loops.

Sometimes getting feedback is like opening up to a moment where you can be shot

Recently, I was talking to one of my mentees about an audit process she was working on. We noticed that she was spending nearly half her time repeating QA steps that were already completed. While thoroughness is essential in cybersecurity and product quality, redundant tasks like this are simply wasteful. Thankfully, we caught it quickly, and she was able to adjust her workflow. But imagine if we only had feedback sessions every quarter or even less frequently—errors like these would linger and become more difficult to address.

This example highlights why regular feedback is essential. When feedback is infrequent or delayed, problems can pile up, often overshadowed by “more important” issues. But they matter, even if they’re minor. In fact, Jane Dutton’s study on social ostracism shows that people often feel better receiving any feedback—rather than none at all. Sometimes, being an asshole, while still bad, can be better than taking no action at all because it shows you care. People are wired to appreciate genuine concern. Just don’t turn it into a daily “drill sergeant” routine, or you might find your coworkers building an altar to your death.

Altar to death - Hope that no one has built one for me yet.

So, what’s with the feedback loops? They’re vital because they help us improve continuously, see things from different perspectives, and make better decisions. Agile encourages feedback loops through ceremonies like retrospectives, but it shouldn’t end there. The goal is transparency and regularity—create a culture where feedback isn’t confined to meetings but is a natural part of your interactions.

When giving feedback, aim for opportunities for improvement. It helps people feel directed and motivated rather than defeated. Of course, there are times when you have to point out errors directly, especially when other options are limited or if it’s a critical issue. But be aware that focusing solely on mistakes can make feedback feel harsh and demotivating. I’ve experienced this firsthand: there were times when friends only pointed out what I was doing wrong, and it left me feeling overwhelmed, like everything was a mess. That’s why it’s crucial to balance feedback so people can see both what’s working and what needs improvement.

If you’re looking for a solid framework on giving feedback, I highly recommend Radical Candor by Kim Scott. Her philosophy is simple but effective: care personally, and challenge directly. Let people know you’re invested in their growth, but don’t shy away from addressing mistakes. It’s about helping them learn and grow, not allowing errors to go unaddressed.

Combine Caring and Challenging to achieve growth

Even when you’re working with a high-performing team, be proactive in seeking feedback. If things seem perfect during a retrospective, start with yourself: ask if there’s anything you could have done better. This kind of vulnerability often inspires others to speak up, opening minds that might have stayed closed. As the famous poet George Clinton once said, “Free your mind, and your ass will follow.” As a leader, free your team’s minds by creating a safe space for candid feedback.